13.06.2019 Old Gal in Yoga Pants Watch what you call older people …Old Gal in Yoga Pants By Melissa Martin
Elderly, geriatric, ancient. If you use these words in the same sentence with my name, I may bop you on the head with my oxygen tank. Or step on your foot with my walker.
I prefer senior citizen, matured person, or aging. Or older lady, old gal, or oldster (not oyster). And don’t call me granny unless I’m your actual granny.
And “old bag” is a term of endearment, but can only be used at the right time, at the right place, and by the right person in a humorous situation.
And you can only make jokes about oldsters—if you’re actually old yourself. Got it?
I know it’s a double standard, but oldsters can make jokes about youngsters. That’s life in the slow lane.
Until we chat again, this old bag declares, “Aging is for cheese and wine—not women.”
Melissa Martin Self-syndicated Columnist, USA
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